Monday, December 29, 2008

Studying Tolerance

Inaugural vs Policy Matters
We are less than a month away from a history making event: the inauguration of the 44th President of these United States, who also happens to be African-American. Already, President-elect Barack Obama is making waves.

In selecting Evangelical Pastor Rick Warren to bless the inauguration's opening ceremony, President-elect Obama has chosen to spend some hard earned political capital. Some pundits call it a risky move. To me, its a progressive President recognizing the breath of views he has to work with; Warren, on the other hand, is someone suffering from poor word choice (he compared gay marriage to pedophilia and polygamy). For those who don't know Warren, he's a Christian pastor who rejects the right-wing and the left-wing for the whole bird, but holds some of the typical conservative views without out letting them dominate his agenda which is mainly ending poverty.

With that said, I can understand why Warren being given such an important role, can piss some people off, particularly in the lesbian and gay community. My answer to them is to focus on what matters: policy decisions and action. Symbolic rhetoric is simply not a game changer by itself.

A Real Issue
Here is a real issue to work with. How do we effect behavioral changes from parents apt to reject their homosexual children? Homosexual teens have one of the highest rates of suicide attempts.

A study was released today in the journal Pediatrics. Lead author, Caitlin Ryan, director of Adolescent Health Initiatives at the Cesar Chavez Institute at San Francisco State University, and her researchers interviewed 200 gay and lesbian teens and young adults. Those in the study that "experienced high levels of rejection were nearly 8.5 times more likely to have attempted suicide. They were nearly six times more likely to report high levels of depression and almost 3.5 times more likely to use illegal drugs or engage in unprotected sex. That was compared with adolescents whose families may have felt uncomfortable with a gay kid, but were neutral or only mildly rejecting."

Upon learning of their child's homosexual tendencies, most conservative parents are likely to want to significantly reject, hide, or "change" their child. This does more harm than good, especially for a teen or young adult. Those are impressionable years. The lesson is that a little show of tolerance can go a long way. As a parent, fake it until you make it if you must, recognizing that kids are indeed perceptive. Life is hard enough in the world. Everyone wants to be loved at home, as is.

The Take Away
What happens at home has a much greater effect than any blessing a random man has to give who isn't really felt in your world. You dig?

The Afterw@rd

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Counting Blessing this Holiday Season

Looking Back
Holidays are one of the toughest times for a survivor. This is particularly true for individuals who have experienced a recent loss. The one consolation is that tomorrow will be better, because when you are down, the only way to go is up. Know, it doesn't always hurt this much.

It may sound cheesy, but I find comfort in the Serenity Prayer. Regardless of your religious affiliation, or not, there is a lot about life in those wise words, because we will never have all the answers:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Looking Forward
This year has been a year of many revelations and blessings. I had friends and family that supported me this year in ways that will forever be with me. It defied odds and defined friendship. I count them as my angles.

One of these hard lessons was that I finally understood what it must have been like for my mother. Depression is a disease. You can't hide, change your genes, ignore your family history, or just snap out of it. You have to tackle it head on.

It took me 30 years to get a clue, Once I understood, everything that I saw in my life growing up and my own personal experiences clicked. Because people who avoid treatment, find ways to self-medicate. Be it constructive or destructive. You choose. But face it you must, because at some point you will run out of lucky charms.

Responsibility is a bittersweet pill. Engage. Be. Think. Act.

If you are touched by this topic join me on this journey.

Let's raise awareness and help educate. Mental health and depression is a disease. Treat it like one.

Be Blessed,

The Afterw@rd