Revelations

Suicide is such a difficult topic to talk about. It sure isn't sexy, warm or fuzzy. It produces some of the rawest of emotions. Shame, guilt, and anger, to name just a few.

I've been talking about suicide and The Afterw@rd for the last two years. In working to overcome the suicide demons, I raised money for organizations, walked 40-miles, truly put my business out on the curb e-mailing everyone I knew and their mother.

Yet it was only today that a good friend told me she had attempted once. Gladly, she's still here to talk about it. But the reason that triggered her revelation is not. She lost a former co-worker and friend to suicide last week. All the emotions came rushing back.

Everyone was thrown for a loop. No one saw the signs. No one guessed the pain. No one interceded. Now they live with the guilt, the what if, the why did he...

My friend sends me an email talking about how The Afterw@rd can make a difference.

I beg to differ. It is being in community that makes a difference. It is the letting go of the stigma, the raising of our awareness, the recognition of the signs, and the admittance that most deaths are avoidable, if we just faced the issue of "this" being a disease. It is about digging deeper, opting to not just scratch the surface of those around you.

Ask how people how they are doing. Then sitting back to listen.

That's what makes a difference. Caring for one another.

The Afterw@rd

A Son Remembered...

Sent: Wednesday, January 07, 2009 11:24 AM
Subject: Chad

Chad's death changed my life forever. He is the one person who I knew loved me unconditionally and told me so. I think of him all the time and look at his pictures every day.

God has really been dealing with me and I am not sure where or when this came to me but it did. Chad knew how much I worried about him and how much concern I had over him. We always spoke with each other for the other not to worry about the other one. He shared with me in December on his visit how much he was worried about me. He knew I was overly concerned about his relationship and life.

Chad came to the point where he did not want us living in worry over him. He was so tired in the end and shared this with me Christmas [sic]. So one night I was awakened this fall with Chad on my mind. I knew he was in a better place, well and smiling, He was watching over me and wants me to be happy. He had no idea what his death would do to all of us.

So I try each day to celebrate his life. To remember the good things about our times. The fun times in our life and his beautiful eyes and smile. The greatest gift he had was his tender heart and giving ways.

I too will be thankful when this 1 year is behind us. Their are days when I wish him back, when I long to talk with someone or feel so lonely as he had a way about him to make me feel good. Saturday I will celebrate his life.

I would like to plant something out there but not sure what. I am going to Costo [sic] Friday and buy some flowers. He loved flowers and plants.

Nancy