The Soloist

After the IRS cleaned out my clock this past April 15th, I felt it best to get back to working on the hard task of making myself better by tackling the crafting project I've had such a challenging time facing: a memory scrapbook about my Mom.

I went to the American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore, MD to get inspired through the Rita Project, a great program that brings together in a creative healing space people who have attempted suicide and survivors of loss to suicide. Turns out the day's group meeting had been canceled. But this cancellation turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I came across the most interesting life story of James Rouse (1914-1996), Master Planner of Inner Harbor in Baltimore, MD, as well as founder of Columbia, MD. It seems he was a man that truly walked into his vision of how life should be.

I left the museum refreshed and invigorated, filled with the wisdom of Rouse's inspiringing life story. Life had not always been kind to him, but his optimism, vision and willingness to maintain creative friendships were his anchor. I reached out to good visionary friends who lived in Columbia, MD and share what I had learned, paying it forward.

We decided to go to the movies and go see The Soloist, the true story of a friendship between a renown journalist, Steve Lopez, and a former cellist then homeless man, Nathaniel Ayers. It's a sobering movie that speaks truth to the issues of mental illness, homelessness, recovery, and redemption.

Ayers was a Julliard student who rather than combat his illness, he embraced it. The cost was life on the streets. But I wonder, if he could have understood, really understood, what was happening and the potential consequences of his actions, the deterioration to his mind, career, and future, if he would have acted the same way.

Yet, I'm not fully convinced. Jim Rouse said it best, "I am philosophically, spiritually, and emotionally persuaded that virtually every circumstance, however adverse or bewildering it seems to be at the moment, has a creative potential, that my task is to find that potential--to avoid preoccupation with immediate unfavorable impact and move beyond to the lesson or direction or opportunity that the Lord has opened up." Go figure that Steve Lopez always says that he is the one that got the most out of the relationship. Maybe, this was all God's plan to give Steve Lopez a hand.

The Afterw@rd

Blind Flouting Authority

Yesterday was the two-year anniversary of the Virginia Tech Massacre. This whole week I've heard of the tragic loss of the 32 individuals lost, but not many have lamented over the self-inflicted loss of Seung-Hui Cho, the perpetrator. The Afterw@rd is here to advocate on his behalf, on behalf of his family who lost a child, lost a brother.

A loss of child or a brother is hard enough. While I don't propose to know the pain the Cho family must be going through, I do understand what it feels like to experience a premature loss. The pain and the shame to me is unimaginable under the circumstances.

Nikki Giovanni, renown poet and Cho's former English professor, knew that the young man needed professional help. Yet, her cries for help -- which were his cries through his writings -- went unheeded by school authorities.

Similarly, in Springfield, MA, a mother at her wits end went to a the school authorities to request that her 11 year old son be protected from bullies that were calling him "gay." The child had never identified himself as such. The school representatives did nothing. Her child took his own life Thursday of last week.

Next week we'll be facing the tragic 9-year anniversary of the Columbine Massacre.
What have we, our school officials, our society, really learned about mental illness since then?

Intervention is need. It starts with increasing our awareness at work, at home, at school, at church, on the street. What does depression look like? How does someone with an anxiety disorder act? Take the time to educate yourself. It might help save more than one life, even your own.

Over 90% of people who die by suicide have clinical depression or another diagnosable mental disorder. Help defy the statistics by being vigilant. If you suspect that someone is suffering from depression or other mental disorder, help them find and speak to a mental health professional.

The Afterw@rd

Not Recognizing the Signs

“I can see that he was very depressed from losing his job and he was very frustrated with his English-speaking skills,” the woman, identified only as Nga, said on the “Today” show. “He didn’t share any of his thoughts and feelings, and he kept all of his frustration inside and didn’t want to share with anybody else in the family.”

Fear is a foreboding thing. In some ways fear can make you strong, giving a mother of sound mind enough strength to lift a car in order to save her child. In other ways fear can make you weak, making you so paranoid that you begin to doubt yourself and everything you see and experience.

I can just imagine the mental torture Jivery Wong endured before stepping into the American Civic Association in Binghamton, NY last Friday, April 3rd, to shoot 13 people then himself. It's hard to dissuade a man who thinks he has nothing to live for, especially if he is unwilling to be open and share his pain.

The Binghamton event was not a split second decision. It was an anguishing scene that was building and building with no stop gap measure insight. It is difficult to face these fears and not recognize the "coping" signs as they emerge. The depression, voices, visions, etc. The mind is a wondrous instrument that is not well understood.

When you see someone exhibiting extreme signs of introversion, intervention is required. Recognize that there are some things that are beyond our control. Seek a mental health professional, reach out to a friend, call LIFELINE or HOPELINE. Talk, talk, talk it out.

The Afterw@rd