Thanksgiving, Indeed

Dear Survivors,

I've got a way about me of keeping real busy when I don't want to think about things. I know I'm not alone. You feel me.

On days like this sometimes we focus on tradition so bad that we can't afford the time to show some love to those that make it happen. Maybe we do it intentionally, more likely than not subconsciously.

Kermit likes to say, "It isn't easy being green." Profound words for those who are blue.

To afford the time to think of who isn't present is just so there. Interlaced in the stuffing, mixed in the gravy, flowing through the juices of the turkey and in the smell of the cinnamon on the egg nog. It's in the eerie silence coming out of the kitchen or in front of the TV or wandering in halls or in the lack of drama that sometimes gets addictive. Comedic relief to reflect on after healing years later.

To those who have loved and lost, I pray for you comfort and enlightenment knowing that you are not alone. You share this experience with millions.

Let's take this moment to stand together, reflecting on those we have loved and lost. Be thankful, relieved, resolute, and forgiving of the time we did have together with those no longer with us. Above all today, be blessed and keep it moving. There's more life to live.

Happy Thanksgiving and Take Care,

The Afterw@rd

Death by MySpace

Wow. The times we live in. This landmark ruling came days after another young man prematurely ended his life through web camera (blog entry "Am I my brother's keeper") and the on-line viewership egged him on. In my eyes, it was a crime for the viewership too insensitive to take immediate action to finally get a dime and a clue 10 hours later. Here was another preventable death on society's hands.

When I was growing up, as a Socratic rhetoric for developing independent thought, I remember hearing "If so-so jumps off the bridge, will you?" A child's development is heavily determined by his or her environment and socialization. The ideal environment being some traditional version of "Leave it to Beaver"-kind of fairy tale la-la-land. When those factor's are lacking, it takes incredible inner strength to go against the grain, be your own person, able to move beyond the opinion of others. I've always been a bit proud of being the black sheep of my family.

And yet, for those young adults genetically predisposed to depression or other mood disorders, it's a wee bit more challenging. Like most youth, they must bear the burden of still trying to establish their own identity while being resilient in the face of other people's opinions. Yet, they may not always be fully in control of all of their emotions and reactions. This is more than just keeping one's hormones in check. This is how one reacts to life's small and large challenges, to external imposed control, to things that can seem sort of life and death at 13 years of age...a crush AND a pimple. It can cause one to cry, over eat, not sleep, be anxious, etc. exaggeratedly so. These emotions, when left unchecked through ignorance or negligence the symptoms over time do deteriorate to promiscuity, drug usage, etc. This is why employing preventive measures and conducting interventions are critical.

Unfortunately, most of society is often apathetic, not aware or sensitive to what is happening in the mind or to the mood of a 13 year old or anyone else undergoing internal turmoil. Clearly this adult woman, sure didn't. To her, the website was just a bad joke. The trial, a twisted freak of nature. Now, those who work in the field of mental health can feel somewhat vindicated since this is where a lack of awareness leads. Must we conquer this trial by trial? Website by website?

Without education and de-stigmatization of mood disorders...we have nothing. Let's be mindful and act preemptively.

The Afterw@rd

A Downward Spiral and a $7.8 Trillion Bailout

Today we had two unfortunate news breaks.

One from the Department of Commerce released a report that the annual rate of the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) decreased by 0.5 percent in the third quarter of 2008. In real terms, that's recession talk for we are still getting screwed.

The other news release came from the Federal Reserve and the Department of Treasury, unveiling an additional $800 billion bailout plan to assist struggling industries and get the government kick-started back again. Again? Mind you, that's on top of the $700 billion all ready passed by Congress.

Well, let's check the new total. This brings us to $7.8 trillion dollars (yes, that's half of the U.S. economy) spent on bailing out spa-visiting, England-fox hunting, jet plane flying folks with barely a dime going toward the root of the credit freeze problem: supremely bundled and leveraged, sub-prime mortgage holders.

To better understand the state of the U.S. economy and where all this money is coming from click here, else go to your nearest central bank to make some cash.

What does recession depression have to do with suicide, you may ask? When harsh economic figures can only be compared to those from the Great Depression, then the suicide rate becomes an economic indicator. A year after Hurricane Katrina suicide rates increased three-fold and 20 percent of the population suffered from post-traumatic stressed disorder. Since there does not seem to be an end to the downward spiraling economy in the near future should we just wait for the numbers of suicide victims to increase to say, "See, I told you so!"

This is when I down for a preemptive strike.

What to do? Do not judge others. Be vigilant for symptoms of depression. Talk to a mental health professional. Can't afford one? Talk to folks, friends, family, anyone with an understanding ear. If you can't find someone make a mental note of calling the Suicide Lifeline at a regular time. Hey, that's what they are there for. Use them.

According to professionals, there's a thin line between hurting yourself and hurting others. Going through recession depression is by no means an insular experience. However, there's truth to the saying that misery loves company. Don't wallow in the sadness, do things that make you happy, treat yourself well and gently. Give yourself permission to be selfish. Eat well. Exercise. Measure your progress. Every little step counts.

I know all this is easier said than done, but start somewhere. Even, if it's filing your toe nails. 90-year-old, Addie Polk (see blog title link) can tell you all about what it means to have a second chance at managing stress and acquiring better coping skills.

Let's give recession depression a run for its money.

The Afterw@rd

Turn Off Your TV! Be Happy...

I often laugh at social research studies that "prove" common sense social observations. It's like, "Those who see the sky as blue, tend to be happier than those who describe it as gray." It's like, I always knew...now I have PROOF.

Well, University of Maryland Professor Dr. John Robinson found this "new proof": Happier people watch less television than less happier people. They also socialize more, got to church (I imagine, regularly) and read the newspaper. The newspaper for crissake! I wonder does it matter if it's in print or on-line? Daily or weekly? And, does a computer screen (surfing the internet, dvd watching, etc.) count for TV time? Did the good doctor account for martial status, number of kids, hours worked, level of household responsibilities, etc.? No, really.

In short, Dr. Robinson just shows us that people in the study have a LIFE, a FAITH and, because they can converse, (OMG!) a SUPPORT NETWORK. You just have to love it. I know I'm in stitches. (Thank you to the 45,000 participants and your 35 years of hard activity recording work!)

Here comes the glitch, according to the New York Time,

"...the researchers could not tell whether unhappy people watch more television or whether being glued to the set is what makes people unhappy. "I don’t know that turning off the TV will make you more happy,” Dr. Robinson said.

Still, he said, the data show that people who spend the most time watching television are least happy in the long run."

Interesting.

Let me go out on a wild limb here...but I would venture to guess-estimate that there is also a high correlation between depression and the sample of the 45,000 participants who watch inordinate amounts of TV when compared to the "happy" study participants. I would even go further to say that most of these individuals are even less likely to be diagnosed for depression. I also venture to guess that there is no correlation by income status, education level, and family size. I won't even have to mention my concerns for home rearing, mild compulsive disorders, additive behavioral patterns, need for known safe spaces as a coping mechanism, loneliness, etc.

I won't even breath a word. Shhhh. Just in case, pass me the remote.

The Afterw@rd

National Survivor of Suicide Day: TODAY

A Day of Healing For Survivors of Suicide Loss

Today we celebrate the 10th Annual Survivor's of Suicide Day. Join with other survivors of suicide loss at a local site near you or register to watch the 90-minute program from your home computer from 1-2:30pm Eastern Time and take part in a free online chat immediately afterwards.

The program includes a blend of emotional support and information about resources for healing for survivors of suicide loss. Survivors and mental health professionals discuss their experiences and answer the questions that so many survivors face: Why did this happen? How do I cope? Click here to listen to a brief radio interview in which Joanne Harpel, Director of Survivor Initiatives, speaks about this annual event and the experience of losing someone to suicide.

To find a conference site nearest you, or to register to watch the webcast from home, visit www.afsp.org/survivorday. When you register to watch from home, you are automatically registered for the online chat afterwards.

We hope you'll share in this powerful day of support, information, and healing. Please feel free to pass this message on to anyone you think might be interested.

Take good care,
Joanne Harpel, AFSP Director of Survivor Initiatives
Bob Antonioni, Chair, AFSP National Survivor Council
www.afsp.org

Am I my brother's keeper?

Yesterday in the now infamous Broward County of Florida, a bipolar teenager struggling with depression contemplates suicide. The signs were all there. He wrote a note, told people his plan, spoke of his hopelessness and began to execute. A preventable death by medication overdose. All via a web camera (webcam).

Viewers response encouraged him, made fun of the situation and made fun of him.

They watched, as if suicide was a spectator sport.

I must not have gotten the memo, but can someone please tell me when did suicide become entertainment, like ribbed, for your viewing pleasure?

It took the collective 10 hours to get a clue and contact the police. The blood and life of that young man is now in the hands of every single person who viewed the thread and took part in it.

It is said that six people are "statistically affected" by each suicidal death. This incident is a game-changer to that statistical conclusion. The nature of the decentralized dissemination of this action and its ramification currently boggles my mind.

Some may call this an anomaly, I hope that is all it is. Else, we risk this being called a bad precedent.

We have to begin to ask ourselves, if faced with this situation "what would I do?". I pray it doesn't take you 10 minutes to take action.

The Afterw@rd

Choice in the Matter

"Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it." To me, this quote is too reactionary of a perspective without much meat, because life is not about easy livin'. Life and time have taught me that.

Bad things happen to everyone. It indeed is about how we choose to respond. We can lay down and sleep as life passes us by. When we awake we can choose to be sad, self-defeating, resentful, self-pitying. We choose.

Then here's the flip script. We can also choose to wake up and be about some thing progressive, be about change, be about life, be about making a difference for ourselves and those we love. Be about long-term, constructive, supportive, positive thought AND ACTION.

You can think about things all day long, but until you act, do, and achieve small incremental goals that's when we can look life in the face and know and rest in our knowing that we have made the most of the lemons we have been dealt.

It's our choice. Own it. Love it. Live it.

The Afterw@rd

"Live your life so that your children can tell their children that you not only stood for something wonderful- you acted upon it.
- Dan Zandra

A Dream Deferred...

Langston Hughes' poem A Dream Deferred always could get a rise out of me.

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

My reading the poem always invoked the need for introspection. Was there a part of me unfulfilled? Have I not acted out on my wants and desires? Why could I not defy my environment and sow seeds of opportunities where none seemed to exists? This poem always served as my litmus test to self-realization. And yet, at it's core it again leaves me to ponder, what if the writer spoke on the unrealized dreams of someone with a mental illness?

It's one thing to have frustrated aspirations due to a lack of opportunity. Ghettos overflow with misguided talent. It's a whole other matter where one can't seem to untangle themselves to get from A to B. Where your follow-through challenges and coherence lies in your defective gene pool. It sort of sounds like being passed by a Nobel Prize committee despite one's obvious contribution to the end goal. So it's not enough to have done the work, you have to look the part.

Or else, what? Explode?

Dealing with 14 million...

We are approaching the holidays and the high season for when individuals consider suicide as an option. We must begin to ask ourselves now, "How will this upcoming year be different?" Dr. Philip Janicak estimates that 14 million people experience major depression annually. Of those individuals, half will be diagnosed with depression and of those treatment may benefit only 50 percent of that group. I've known way too many that fall within the first 7 million that do not even receive a diagnosis and think they can either sleep their condition off, handle it themselves or just accept themselves as being perpetually lazy. Many fail to make the connection that ninety percent of all people who die by suicide have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder at the time of their death.

The Politics of Will
It simply shocks me to my core to think that we are in the 21st century and no one really knows what is specifically happening in the brain to cause depression, and even sadder still that we still do not really know why psychiatric treatments work. The finding of psychiatric treatments is, as depicted in the linked Washington Post article, like clearing up (a soon to be extinct) analog signal by hitting the TV on the side; we don't know why it helps, but it sure allows us to have a clearer picture once again. If this is the case, then the real truth is that this is a matter of political will. It's simply not sexy enough to talk about mental health and get votes.

Should we have to wait for the 14 million to exponentially propagate and be self-reflective enough to embrace this issue so we can have a significant, representative voting block?

Until Then, Here's a Bump To Clear Your Head
Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) is a growing noninvasive therapy technique being used to treat significant, chronic psychiatric and neurological disorders. It sounds pretty hi-tech but the roots of the technique can be found in good ole' 19th century electromagnetic theory, which explains the inter-relatedness between electricity and magnetism. In essence, the neurons or nerve cells in our brain (like joy, sadness or love) act as electrochemical agents that transmit chemical signals. If you have epilepsy or have fainted then you know how your brain is a powerful mass of electric currents. TMS generates a magnetic field that stimulates your neurons over time to alter or change how they function. Thereby, bringing back your magnetic personality (the pun was, totally, intended).

If TMS is something you might consider trying out for you or someone you love, it is recommended you check out NeuroStar's website, inform yourself on the matter, and as always, speak with an unbiased and un-compromised mental health professional to find out more.

The Afterw@rd

Disclaimer: The Afterw@rd's purpose in sharing about medical treatments is not to endorse, but rather inform of what's going on in this field of mental health and suicide. Should someone choose to pursue this option, they do so out of their own free will, and The Afterw@rd bears no liability.